“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt
I love this quote. It’s one of my favorites.
It’s hard not to compare yourself to others. As a writer, I struggle not to compare myself to published authors. I have to remind myself their books are finished products, while I’m still on my first draft. When I see new authors or friends in the writing community publish their first book, it makes me anxious to finish my WIP (work in progress). This can be motivating or can make you feel defeated, depending on how you let it affect you.
You’re your own worst enemy, not the writing community. Someone else’s success, good reviews, books published, support, etc. is not an intentional jab at your own work. Your self worth isn’t determined by someone else. Self worth is your own opinion and value of yourself. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
I wanted to post some encouragement today because there are hateful people in the world who love to watch others fail, who love to bring people down to boost their own selfish egos. These people are the ones who, at some point in their lives, let the negativity pull them down too. They let themselves fall prey to the trolls and their own jealousy/envy. They ultimately fail to make themselves feel better by trying to pull others down with them. Don’t let them defeat you. There’s nothing wrong with an ego boost now and again, but not at the expense of someone else’s feelings.
I’m not the kind of person who gets defeated easily by what others say. I appreciate constructive feedback and often give it. I take things with a grain of salt, and for my own sanity and peace of mind I block the trolls after giving them a piece of my mind. But some people take criticism hard. They take to heart the negativity, jokes or fake compliments, and it hurts their emotional stability.
Do you really want to be the type of person who breaks another writer’s spirit just because you feel irrationally threatened by them? I hope not.
I’m angry this weekend, for more reasons than one, but after dealing with similar attacks on social media, I’m pretty fed up. I’m sick of seeing petty shit from trolls or other writers, who tag along conversations and tear supportive groups apart. Sadly, creating supportive communities, hashtags and large threads of conversations lure these assholes out of hiding. I have a zero tolerance policy for them, along with the spammy bots who always follow. This is why I never feel bad about un-following, ignoring or blocking people, and you shouldn’t either. You don’t owe them anything.
To those who dare to be petty enough to spew negativity to anyone I know: I’m not one to sit by and let this shit ruin my life or the lives of great friends and writers in my social community. I won’t hesitate to block your ass and make sure the rest of the writing community knows why I did. Don’t ruin your own reputation by being a dick to someone valued in the community. We all have similar goals and should be supporting each other, not tearing each other down.
To those who’ve been affected by the words or actions of others: Protect the peace of your mind and your heart. Block them. Face them. Have ME face them for you, I won’t hesitate to. Do whatever you need to do to get back your fighting and writing spirit because you’re worth so much more than their time and efforts to pull you down.
I hope this encourages someone today, and hope it gives others something to think about. Reflect on the things you’ve posted, keeping in mind how it will negatively affect someone else, and ask yourself if it’s worth it… Finally, stop comparing yourself to others.
“Comparison is the thief of Joy” – Theodore Roosevelt